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Green Acres Isn’t The Place For Me

Screen Shot 2015-02-15 at 3.00.22 PMThe closest Sephora to Arlington, Iowa is an hour and 40 minutes away, so I guess it would have never worked out for me and Chris. Actually, an hr & 40 isn’t as bad as I might have guessed. We could have gone makeup shopping whenever we decided to make a trek to the movies. Yes, really. Chris said the closest theatre that plays most of the new releases is about an hour away. Excuse me, as I take time to deeply appreciate my proximity to NYC where there are over 25 Sephoras.

All jokes aside, my Bachelor experience may have ended in tears (I mean, how else?), but it was amazing. (Dollar in “amazing jar.”) Does this qualify my Bachelor story as “tragic, but amazing”? I made best friends and went on “amazing adventures.” Let’s be real, if it weren’t for Chris Soules, I would have probably died never having driven a tractor, rafted down the Rio Grande, or camped. (I especially would have never camped.) The dude is hot as hell and sweet and classic as a bottle of Coke. I was so into him, I basically devoured him at any chance. However charming Prince Farming is, he turned out not to be my Aladdin.

This week I spent many hours talking Bachelor with many media outlets. People, Us Weekly, Good Morning America, Jimmy Kimmel, E!…you name it! I am “immeasurably blessed,” otherwise simply known as fortunate, to have had this entire experience.

Now onto answer the infamous question, “Who are you wearing?”

I thought it would be hilarious to wear this $12 Forever 21 “I’m Actually Really Smart” shirt on Jimmy Kimmel. It was perfectly appropriate for an interview with a comedian, especially following the bed confrontation where I slammed Kelsey with words and my masters degree (which is from the nation’s top broadcast journalism school, Syracuse University’s Newhouse School *TOOT TOOT*)

I’m wearing Buxom’s Full-On Lipstick in Brooklyn with my favorite Dior Contour lip liner. This is quintessential Kylie Jenner color and application. I have Dior’s 5-liner mat eyeshadow from the 5 Color Designer in Amber palette in the creases of my upper lids and traced a little along the bottom lash line. The winged liner is courtesy of Stila’s intense black liquid eye liner. The magic is in the felt tip.

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Click photo to watch GMA interview with Lara Spencer

I had to wake up for Good Morning America at 5am. *Insert gun emoji* I was in need for a pop of color, so I wore Mac’s Isabell and Ruben Toledo Lipstick in Sin. I love a dark matte. My 91-year-old grandmother called me after the interview and spent 20 seconds telling me she was proud of my poise and 5 minutes complaining about my lip color. She told me to wear my signature nude shade to Women Tell All, because she actually knows what the Women Tell All is. The woman is almost too sharp for her age. I’ll listen to her on that, but I stand by my GMA choice.

I have Make Up For Ever’s eyeshadow in neutral brown brushed on the creases of my lids here with Duchess Kimberly fave Voluminous False Fiber Lashes mascara.

Me on the bed in the Badlands
Me on the bed in the Badlands

I leave you with this quote. “She has way too much make up on to be genuine,” said the least genuine person ever. I would think someone as smart as you, Kelsey, would know not to judge a book by its cover.

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As a true pisces, I live in a magical and delusional land in my head. In this world romances unfold the way they do in romantic comedies, everything at Sephora is free, Shake Shake burgers are a diet food, and we have the capability to clone Harry Styles.

In real life (what's that?), I spend my days pondering how Kylie Jenner's face changed so much. I'm a beauty junkie and pop culture-loving wedding videographer and freelance journalist. I have a Princess Jasmine complex. I am a Fanson (die hard Hanson fan). I enjoy belting old Celine Dion songs.

Please take everything I say seriously (I have my Masters in journalism from Syracuse University), but not too seriously (Cosmo is my favorite publication.)

14 thoughts on “Green Acres Isn’t The Place For Me Leave a comment

  1. Man, Kelsey was a psycho! LMAO, that Ariana pic was totally you in the Badlands.

    I think it was a blessing in disguise that you were sent home. 1:40 away from the nearest Sephora (and civilization, in general) is crazy. I think I would lose my mind.

    Can’t wait to see you on Women Tell All! You can never go wrong with a nude shape on the lips!

  2. Girl, that shirt is hysterical! Props to you! And I could NEVER live more than 10 miles away from the closest Sephora. LOL Hell to the NO.

  3. Loved you on the Bachelor and loving your makeup tips! Would love to see some makeup tutorials on YouTube 😉 Do you have a place in the DC/VA area you recommend for eyelash extensions?

  4. You were my favorite and the show is just not as interesting without you. It would be awesome if you were the next bachelorette for sure.

  5. Just read your article on Yahoo “what I learned on The Bachelor ” and loved it, so I checked out your blog. I love your writing style and I wish you great success! You have a great outlook and attitude!

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