Ever since mentioning that I have my own secret zit-diminishing formula on Michelle Money’s Bachelor gal spreecast, I’ve been getting asked to reveal the concoction’s ingredients. It’s not for small/medium surface pimples. My potion is specifically for the moment you feel a deep cyst lingering in your chin or cheek. If you don’t know this feeling of total dread, this mixture isn’t for you.
1) Ice the spot for at least 30 minutes. 2) Get a Ziplock bag and turn it inside out. 3) Squeeze an equal, pea-sized amount of the following: Cortizone-10 with aloe, Desitin (Yes, baby butt cream on your face. Zinc=miracles), Bacitracin Zinc Ointment, and a prescription…Mupirocin Cream. (You can try to omit this and substitute with Neosporin.) 4) Mix the ingredients together. 5) Apply the mixture to the spot you feel the cyst. If it’s already emerged on the surface, it’s probably too late, but my be worth a try. 6) Place a small, round Band-Aid to seal the formula to your skin. 7) Turn your Ziplock bag right side out and seal the formula for the next use.
I used to run around the Bachelor mansion applying this stuff on the girls’ faces. I’ll be honest, it depends on the person, but at least 50% of the Bachelorettes saved themselves from a boulder pimple.
When it comes to non-cystic pimples… I use 10% benzoyl peroxide cream on cheek pimples and let pimples on the chin area to resolve on their own with my nightly Retin-A application.
As a true pisces, I live in a magical and delusional land in my head. In this world romances unfold the way they do in romantic comedies, everything at Sephora is free, Shake Shake burgers are a diet food, and we have the capability to clone Harry Styles.
In real life (what's that?), I spend my days pondering how Kylie Jenner's face changed so much. I'm a beauty junkie and pop culture-loving wedding videographer and freelance journalist. I have a Princess Jasmine complex. I am a Fanson (die hard Hanson fan). I enjoy belting old Celine Dion songs.
Please take everything I say seriously (I have my Masters in journalism from Syracuse University), but not too seriously (Cosmo is my favorite publication.)